Oh... Hey...

Do I hate being me? Why yes, yes I do. So why am I still here? Excellent freaking question. Ever made a promise you don't intend to keep? Of course. Why would I promise anyone that I wouldn't try and kill myself ever again? What possessed me to make such a stupid promise? And does anyone I made the promise to remember it? Doubt it. Since junior high, I've constantly been the third wheel, easily forgotten except when no one else is around but me. I feel like I'm still stuck in 2002, still haven't changed, haven't moved forward or back, yet everything and everyone is changing. It's driving me crazy... Heck, I think I'm going crazy. I'm mentally unstable. I'm a coward. I can't deal with people... I can't deal with me, myself, and I. Fuck promises. Fuck the world. God and "His" angels can go burn in Hell. I've decided that Heaven and Hell are practically the same place. They're both run by sexist men that think they know what's best for everyone else and will screw you on sight. I hate men. They are so fucking stupid that if they didn't have a penis they wouldn't know their head from their bloody ass. Hell, some of them still don't. If God is so damn perfect, then why is this world so fucked up? Oh wait... let's blame it on some other man named Lucifer! That makes everything so much better. Ahhh, I'm rambling. No one would remember me if I died. So why can't I do it? Why is it so hard to take a knife to my throat? Why is it so hard to jump off a cliff? Why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut when I overdosed!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? TO HELL WITH IT!!!!!